The Truth About Sita: Ramayana from the Feminine Perspective
What we’re never taught about Sita’s character in the Ramayana.
“Can you imagine the eyes of Sita when she refused another test? When she looked at Rama, a man she loved enough to die for, a man who was a god, and knew it was over? Can you imagine her eyes in that moment, as she asked her mother to take her back, to swallow her back into the earth?” - Jason Schneiderman
Growing up, we learn so much about Ram and the male characters in the Ramayana (literally means Ram’s journey; -ayana meaning journey). We learn about his role as a dutiful son as he goes to the forest for 14 years or his courage and determination when he defeats evil by bringing Sita safely home after the demon Ravana kidnaps her. Most of us know about the day Sita is brought home, the joyous occasion it is with the entire kingdom of Koshala lit up by lights symbolizing good defeating evil marking the day we celebrate today as Diwali. What is not emphasized enough is Sita’s character and what happens after she is brought back to the kingdom - Sita’s return to the earth, her rejection of a society that rejected her, and the strength, endurance, and power behind her character.
As Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni writes in the introduction of her book, The Forest of Enchantments, a retelling of the Ramayana, but from Sita’s perspective, we might think we need to hate Rama in order to care for Sita, but that’s too simplistic. Many of us grow up thinking Sita is weak, the victim, or at the mercy of society and the men in her life when the truth is, these mythologies and the lives of these characters are just as nuanced as life is. Through reading about Rama’s actions, you may think of him as a patriarchal man, unloving and harsh towards his lover and soulmate. As we go deeper into the Ramayana, we learn that again, that perspective is too simplistic as well.
Throughout the Ramayana, we learn about the bind that Rama finds himself in, how he loves Sita, but is torn between his duties as a king and as a husband. How Sita continues to love Rama through it all while also feeling anger and sadness for being misunderstood, mischaracterized and left to raise her sons alone in the forest.
Two years ago on Diwali, my friends and I re-enacted the Ramayana, but from Sita’s perspective and journey. Through the process of researching, I learned so much about Sita and became a little obsessed with learning as much as I could about her character. Many of the friends we celebrated Diwali with that year were unfamiliar with the Ramayana, so we decided to bring the epic alive in a different way. One friend narrated the story, while a few friends used their amazing improv acting skills to reenact key scenes from the beginning.
Before we go any further, here is what you need to know about Sita (and the reason I fell in love with her character):
Sita’s name literally means furrow, representing her as the daughter of the earth. She is the goddess of the womb, fertility, maternal ecstasy, harvest, surrender and service (to name a few). Sita also symbolizes the energy of the root (muladhara) chakra, which is associated with grounding, stability and security.
She was plowed out of the earth by Janaka, the King of Videha and was accepted as a gift from the earth. She is also called Janaki meaning Janaka’s daughter, but she is widely known as Sita. She is just one example of how earth and agricultural metaphors are used throughout the Ramayana to represent women.
Sita represents shakti, the divine feminine cosmic energy of the universe, while Rama represents masculine energy. Rama and Sita are the reincarnations of the god and goddess on earth (Goddess Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth and abundance and her partner and lover, Lord Vishnu). Similarly, Lord Krishna and his partner and lover, Radha are also reincarnations of Lord Vishnu and Goddess Lakshmi.
Although they are a god and goddess on earth, we are shown how even they are fallible as humans.
Sita was special from the start, even beyond the nature of her birth. Her father, King Janak was given a bow by Lord Shiva, the God of Destruction. Sita, as a child, could easily pick up this bow, but it took a dozen men to be able to lift it. Sages advised Janak that the man who could easily lift and string the bow would be destined to marry Sita. Not only did Ram lift the bow with ease, but he also strung it and, with great power, broke it in the process. This display of might sealed Ram’s fate as Sita’s husband, and they were soon married.
After their marriage, Lord Rama, the prince and to-be king of Ayodhya was banished to the forest for 14 years. It was a request driven by Rama’s stepmother, Kaikeyi who had a boon, or promise granted to her several years prior when she saved her husband, Dasharath’s life (Dasharath had three wives - Kaikeyi, Kaushalya (Rama’s mother), and Sumitra). She wanted her son, Bharat, to be king and while everyone in the family was against this, even King Dashrath, he couldn’t go back on his promise. So Sita, Rama, and his brother, Laxman headed to the forest for 14 years and there, Sita was kidnapped by a demon-king named Ravan. After, Rama and his brother set out to find Sita and along the way, they met a band of monkey-humans including Hanuman. Eventually, they found Sita in Ravan’s kingdom, Lanka (what is known as modern day Sri Lanka) and what ensued is a battle between good and evil, where Rama eventually killed Ravana.
Diwali, also called Dipavali literally means “row of lights” (Dipa - lights and avali - row), marks the day that Rama returned to his kingdom with Sita after defeating Ravana. It was a moonless night and the people of Ayodhya lit thousands of oil lamps to welcome them home.
For most of us who grew up learning the Ramayana, this is usually when the story ends.
There are many layers to the events that have unfolded so far and I could probably write 100 more posts about the interwoven stories - the promises, betrayals, lessons, stories of the gods and goddesses, the metaphors, and more, but we’ll stick to this brief summary for now.
This is where the plot takes an unexpected twist.
After Ram and Sita returned, people in the kingdom aka “society” started questioning Sita’s purity because she spent an extended amount of time in Ravana’s kingdom. Although she stayed loyal and committed to her marriage and love towards Ram, Ram asked her to walk through fire to prove her purity. She walked through, untouched by the fire. Ram then welcomed her back with open arms. However, after a while people were still gossiping and Ram felt torn between his duty as a husband and his duty as a king. He chose his duty as a king and asked his brother Laxman to abandon Sita in the forest. At the time, she was pregnant with their twin sons and was forced to raise her children, Luv and Kush in the forest in an ashram. While this might sound like a tragic story and most retellings portray it as such, there was actually great love and wisdom flowing through Sita’s life during this time. The forest, with all its herbs and the animals, was her happy place and where she felt most at home.
Years later, unbeknownst to them, her sons, Luv and Kush, who had grown to be great warriors like their father, came across Rama and battled him. It’s important to note that all those years that Sita was exiled to the forest, Rama’s love for her did not waiver - he built a statue made out of pure gold, symbolizing his pure and strong love for her where it sat beside his throne. He never remarried even after he was told numerous times by family members, advisors, and sages.
They had a beautiful reunion, and Rama, seeing his children are most definitely his children, accepted them with open arms and asked Sita to come home to the kingdom as well. However, Rama she is asked to endure yet another test of loyalty and purity by walking through fire again.
And this was the most surprising twist to the story.
This time she is like “hell no!”. Okay, she doesn’t literally say that, but she does ask for the earth, the goddess, to swallow her up and take her back from where she came from: “The earth accepts all seeds with love. She bears the judgment of her children with love. If I have been as true as the earth in my love for Ram then may the earth split open and take me within”. Devdutt Patnaik writes this part so well here:
After years of exile and the humiliation of repeatedly being asked to prove her innocence, Sita decides she has had enough. In an astonishingly bold move for a tale that stresses obedience, Sita chooses not to return to her husband.
The earth responds immediately and splits open to embrace Sita, supporting her decision. Sita is swallowed by the ground she stands on, disappearing forever, leaving Ram all alone and miserable.
Sita’s return to the earth is the rejection of a society that rejected her. In the Hindu tradition, Mother Earth is the embodiment of endurance.
Sita represents the divine feminine, and this internal strength and power that Sita symbolizes makes her one of the most remembered female characters in Indian mythology.
Ram rushes over, trying to stop her or grab her hand. Instead, he is left with her hair that has turned to a blade of grass. Soon after, upon fulfilling his destiny on earth (ruling Ayodhya, destroying evil, securing the future of his kingdom through his sons), Rama too enters the gates of Yama, the god of death.
There are so many lessons and references here that mirror modern society. A few include Sita rejecting society just as it rejected her. Her refusal to walk through fire, thus returning to Ram, shows how she is turning away from society and instead, choosing the natural world, the earth, where there are no rules and boundaries. Rama teaches us about the perils of relying too heavily on rules, and not practicing feeling and affection when it calls on him the most.
*Note: There are so many versions of the Ramayana - some that include Sita birthing just one son and then sage Valmiki creating another twin from the grass (Kush) and another retelling where Sita is actually Ravana’s daughter. In this version, Ravana is told that this child will be the cause of his destruction, so he orders to have her killed. However, Ravana’s wife, not bearing to see her own child killed, secretly sends the baby girl away where she is found in the earth by King Janaka. Ravana’s eventual obsession with his own daughter is an exploration and story for another time.
I love the Ramayana and these mythologies because there is so much wisdom, so much that speaks to the human condition (even though it was written thousands and thousands of years ago), and so much that mirrors our world and lives today.
This post is a culmination of two years of on and off research. I’m infinitely grateful for the countless hours the following authors have put into their writing. Here are the sources that I could not have written this post without:
Sita: An Illustrated Retelling of Ramayana by Devdutt Pattanaik
Awakening Shakti: The Transformative Power of the Goddesses of Yoga by Sally Kempton
The Forest of Enchantments by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
And of course, thank you to my dad for inspiring me to go down this rabbit hole :)